Saturday, September 17, 2005

Chick Flicks, Romance Novels, and Love Songs - Female Porn?



Recently I asked a friend if he thought that all the chick flicks, romantic comedies, love songs, soap operas and what not, that we're inundated with, give women an unrealistic/naive/warped view of reality - of life and relationships...

He said yeah...

I agreed... I think I even heard a teacher once call these things female porn...

It made sense to me, but I couldn't quite articulate the idea... but recently I ran into this article from Focus on the Family's website which makes just that point...

Here's a portion of it:


Female Porn

by Hayley and Michael DiMarco

Just like male porn revs guys’ engines in unhealthy ways, female porn is leading women astray. Let’s embrace equality and take a closer look at the study of “what women want,” exposing the desperate side of chick flicks and romance novels.

Each year hundreds of thousands of women whet their romantic appetites with enticing tales of perfect romance and fairy-tale endings. The romance parade starts as early as a parent is able to read to their little girl. Stories about princesses and the princes who rescue them from certain doom are read over and over and over again. While boys are busy building things and tearing them down again, or maybe reading a spy novel or horror story, little girls are dreaming of the perfect wedding and the dream house. As they mature, young women soon find more of an escape from reality in movies and novels. And when the Pottery Barn catalog arrives, they dream of how amazing their lives would be if only they had that couch and those throw pillows. The female psyche, how different it is from the males. And how desperate its distractions.


For decades the religious community has publicly condemned the pornographic industry as destructive to the sexual appetites of the men who indulge therein. Most people see that it creates a gap between the sexes. It nurtures the lie that women are something that they aren’t, and in the end it harms real loving and nurturing relationships. Those airbrushed images are anything but real, let alone attainable.


Yet female pornography has for decades been an accepted pastime, sliding under the radar of the religious right and instead being promoted as an acceptable distraction from the worries of life. But what exactly is female porn? Is there a definition for this newly discovered blight on society?


For the answer to this question, we need look no further than the honorable Mr. Webster and his infamous dictionary of words. How we overlooked this definition for years upon years we do not know. But we are here today to uncover the truth. To shed light in the dark. And so without further ado here it is:



  • pornography – 3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction


Catch that? Emotional. We contend that the job of the chick flick, romance novel, and love song is to arouse a quick, intense emotional reaction. Can you feel it? We ask you, ladies, what else arouses a stronger emotion in you than that heart-fluttering chick flick? What else gets you to dream of the perfect man and pray to God that you will get one just like him?


Any attack on the traditional porn industry always includes the cry that it creates unrealistic expectations in men. No woman can be that hot and sexy all the time. It’s just not fair to women for their men to look at that. (Of course there are other deep concerns, but we went into that in the last chapter.) However, the very thing that women complain about in male porn is also created by female porn.


Check the pulse on any leading man from the biggest chick flicks and this is the rhythm his heart beats to: undying love, pure romance, sweet words, heroic rescues, persistent pursuit, tears, laughter, protection, flowers, gifts, and devotion. He never farts or burps. He’s never grumpy or wanting to be left alone.


He’s always focused on the female, exhausting all his energies on pleasing her. He is the ultimate creation of the self-centered female who wants the world to revolve around her and her alone. Just as male porn caters to a man’s physical desire to be pleased by his mate, so female porn offers the same self-absorbed emotional aphrodisiac.


Misery: The Ultimate Outcome of Female Pornocopia

The result of exposure to this kind of fairy tale is obvious, at least to us. When a single woman leaves a steamy chick flick only to return home alone to her cats and tub of ice cream, a part of her breaks—the heart part. And she feels more alone than ever.


The man was hers, but only for two and a half hours, and now, like every other man, he’s gone.


The same kind of letdown happens every time the newest home decor catalog comes to the house. She looks over all of the latest home fashions and then looks around her house. Suddenly a sense of “I’m just not good enough” overcomes her. And she senses an insatiable urge to purchase a new antiqued armoire and festive dish set.



14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree; the truth is that men and women have two distinct drives - " perfect engeneering." This is from God, of course. The problem is that when women and/or men satisfy these drives in a way that is not a part of "God's intented plan", both sexes get unrealistic expectations, according to their different drives.

That is, women have a high expectation on relationships after they hear, see and watch these perfect Romance stories. Men also have high expectations after they hear, see, and wacth. The expectations may not be the same but the expectations are set so high that it almost seems very difficult, if not seemingly impossible to pair up with one of the opposite sex, or God's original intent.

These distractions are part of the destruction of these perfect, God-given drives.

Anonymous said...

I think that the calling all these "romantic" elements "porn" is a bit too extreme. I agree that Chick flicks and romance novels convey an unrealistic image of a relationship and of men in general;however, it is, for the most part, a positive image of men. "Male porn," on the other hand, is an extreme visual stimulation that disrespects the holy union between a married man and a woman.
For the most part, women who expect to live that perfect love story are probably women who have self-image issues and need constant reassurance from a man--in the form of constant romance, or attention.
Believe me, they would have felt that way with a chick flick or with no chick flick.

Anonymous said...

The previous comment ends by saying,

"For the most part, women who expect to live that perfect love story are probably women who have self-image issues and need constant reassurance from a man--in the form of constant romance, or attention."

This is probably true, but has NOTHING to do witn the question of whether or not these forms of entertainment are porn.

It might be the case that there are many healthy, well adjusted females that don't actually believe that life is the way it's depicted in these films, but who still watch porn, if porn is really what this is.

So the question is whether or not these forms of entertainment ACTUALLY FIT the stated definition of pornography.

"extreme visual stimulation" as you describe male porn, obviously fits into Webster's definition of

"the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction".

"extreme visual stimulation" is what will "arouse a quick intense EMOTIONAL reaction" in men.

An "extreme visual stimulation" probably WILL NOT "arouse a quick intense emotional reaction" in women.

But other things WILL arouse those reactions in women.

The author argues that the content of these forms of entertainment do "arouse a quick intense emotional reaction", and therefore could be considered pornography.

Mrs Tellez said...

when will the anonymous comments end, and the names appear? Some of these comments are accurate ( in my opinion) and well thought out. It would be nice to know if they come from a man's point of view or woman's. Aggreeing or disagreeing??

Anonymous said...

I doubt that "female porn" or the romantic "chick flicks" cause a "quick, intense, emotional reaction" in women as male porn causes in men. I think that what they feel after being exposed to these romantic sceneries may wallow for days or even weeks, and thus, disseminates the intensity of the emotion--which in this case would probably be depression and sadness over not having the "fairy-tale" type of life. Thus, it cannot be considered porn since it doesn't contain that intense emotion attached to it. Rather than calling it porn, it should be called "false advertising."

Anonymous said...

"I think that what they feel after being exposed to these romantic sceneries may wallow for days or even weeks, and thus, disseminates the intensity of the emotion--"

I agree with this statement. According to Websters definition I don't believe that these forms of entertainment should be considered porn, because they do not promote "quick intense emotional reactions."

However, I do believe that engaging in these activies (chick flicks, romance novels, etc.) is a form of adultery. Let me explain:

How many women out there sigh after watching a chick flick? And how many women think for at least a minute how much they would long to have that... that relationship, that man, that life? The truth is, whether women want to accept it or not that by participating in these movies we as women are attempting to fill the emptiness of our hearts.

As women, part of our "distinct" God-given drive is to be loved, pursued and wanted, because we are fashioned after God's own heart. Unfortunately this sinful world has warped our understanding of how to fulfill our deepest desires. Instead of going to God and having Him fill us and complete us we turn to the media and watch soap operas and chick flicks... or we go shopping, read Cosmo, or gossip. All false attempts of reaching the real thing. So, when we are indulging in these things in order to fill ourselves, we are being unfaithful in our relationship to God. They are "the adulteries of the heart".

I think women that say they are not affected by chick flicks should be completely honest with themselves and analyze the root of their desires.

Anonymous said...

didn't realize my comment was so long, sorry!...

Anonymous said...

I think that those that call idealized romance "porn" are obviously not women. I agree with the last comment in that women do get emotionally affected by chick flicks, but they rarely cause intense emotion. Sure, sometimes we admire the men that are portrayed--but come on!! It's not like women stop their lives to get a quick emotional fix from a romance novel. I also agree with the fact that we sometimes do desire to fill ourselves with these things, but again, it is far from being considered porn. I bet that for the most part, most women get a good laugh at these idealized romantic film, books, and songs.

Anonymous said...

I think that we all have high expectations of the opposite sex, which, like the fist comment mentioned, makes it almost impossible to pair up. However, I don't think this is the result of chick flicks or of any romance novel. I just think that most of us think we are perfect that we deserve nothing but the best. Let's not make these things ("female flicks") the "cause" for our idealized images of relationships. They do not cause strong and intense emotions and they do not cause us to be single.

Corta Pelo said...

My roomate Omar said that these things are porn, but of a different kind. Just like male porn is all about fantasy, romantic movies, books, songs etc. are also all about fantasy, but of the type that excite women.

Anonymous said...

shut up! Y'all are silly!

Anonymous said...

yes male porn is about fantasy just like chick flicks and soap operas are, but aren't we talking about Webster's definition?

Corta Pelo said...

Yeah we are, but the "fantasy" angle seemed helpful too.

But speaking of webster's definition...

many of the people who disagreed that the entertainment in question is porn did so by saying that it causes an emotional reaction, but not a quick and intense one...

At that point we're nitpicking a little too much... and it's understandable since "quick and intense emotional reaction" isn't something that can be easily measured.

Still, whether it's immediate, or dissapates over a few days, these movies still do what pornography does... that is "excite"

Another thing to keep in mind, is that cultures almost always drift downwards morally, and it has in our culture's case...

One of the reasons why associating such an "innocent" past time like this to porn seems extreme is because our culture has drifted a long way morally since the days when we weren't allowed to see Lucy and Ricky Ricardo sleep on the same bed in the 50's and early 60's.

In other words, if we hadn't been so "well-trained" over the years to view evil, we would be more sensitive to it, and react accordingly when we did come accross it.

Corta Pelo said...

yeah. anything that's harmful, should be avoided. In this case, porn, be it male porn or female porn... This of course is from a Christian perspective, in which as disciples of Jesus we try to eliminate anything that would cause us to not live as we were meant to.