One of the worst things one could do is to hate oneself. It's an affront to God, in whose image we are made...The devil (I believe in a devil now) or his kingdom, or my own mind will often cause me to hate and resent my own being. Hopelessness, emptyness, worthlessness, fear, doubt, hate, anger, confusion, etc. might result.
Those of us who in the past indulged in harmful behaviors (like me) might be tempted to return to those things to medicate ourselves. We might lash out at, or isolate ourselves from those closest to us, or begin to harm our own body and spirit by indulging in any number of sinful behaviors... there's not too many to choose from... it can begin with self-hate, or mistrust of God ... it often springs from lust or pride of some sort... and can manifest in all kinds of harmful behaviors from gluttony and drunkenness, to angry outbursts and sexual immorality.
Whatever it is... it's the way of self-destruction.
The feeling after indulging is often worse than the feeling that led to it, and if not checked could lead to a spiral that can leave one numb, almost... dead. With a heart calloused towards God and others...
When I sense this evil attempting to enter my life, I gotta snap out of it! And think! That's right besides prayer and fasting, we must discipline ourselves to reason. Think out loud, and reason with oneself, and PROVE to oneself, the absurdity of the harmful behavior we might be contemplating.
I recently made this "pros-and-cons" list to help me put things into perspective:
I said to myself,
Marvin
Is it worth it?
Would you be willing to trade:
Everything that gives worth and meaning to your life:
Your relationship with God
Your Faith
Your integrity/character
Your Health - physical; emotional; mental; spiritual
Your Wealth
Your Relationships (Family; Friends)
Your self-respect
Your word/your reputation
Your salvation
Your desire for perfection (Jesus said, "Be perfect as your Father is perfect")
Your strength, your vigor, your very life, your virtus ("Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life" proverbs 4)
Your work
Your studies
In exchange for:
A few, passing moments
of empty pleasure...
With no returns...
and no relationship...
Isolation from God and man...
With absolutely nothing of worth or value...
With no meaning or substance...
Sickly
darkness confusion death.
After a well reasoned evaluation like that, the answer is clear! : )
1 comment:
I think when one speaks from the heart, it expresses an intimacy with our GOD. It's at that intimate moment, the most "raw" and broken that this heart of ours can bleed as Jesus' did on calvary... At that moment our Soul and heart are in communion; and we are the CLOSEST to our Savior... Many have felt the moment but few know how to describe it.
Thanks for putting it into words.
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